Tori Spelling has since broken her silence file for divorce from husband Dean McDermott, 57, on her new podcast.
The MISSPELLING presenter, who posed naked for the logo, spoke on March 29 about the negative thoughts going through her head.
“I’ve never felt so alone,” the 50-year-old actress told her audience.
‘I don’t feel worth loving. That is the truth. And that’s just inside you, it’s not something that I wanted or created,” she said, revealing that she had been experiencing those feelings for a long time.
‘That starts when you’re young. (And changing it), that’s not easy to do….I don’t know if you can do that.’
Tori Spelling detailed the difficulty of filing for divorce from husband Dean McDermott on her new podcast MISSPELLING on March 29. “I’ve never felt so alone,” the 50-year-old actress told her audience
The former Beverly Hills 90210 star then called her estranged husband and left a message, letting him know that she had begun the process of annulling their union.
‘There’s something strange that I didn’t know about: you have to be careful with your ex. It’s a he-said, she-said, who reported it first,” she explained.
“I had to file and go through the process, and once it was accepted and posted publicly, I was allowed to call and fill in my ex. So I just called Dean,” the Scary Movie 2 alum explained.
‘He’s working and I have to tell him. I’m super nervous because I don’t like confrontation.’
Spelling went on to say that she wished she had taken the steps toward divorce “about fifteen years ago.”
“We always say, ‘Hey, it turned 18.’ It shouldn’t have been 18,” the High School Crimes and Misdemeanors star argued, revealing she had stayed to protect McDermott and her children.
“And I think he would say the same thing if he and I had a real heart-to-heart conversation. It would have been over a lot sooner.”
The actress detailed the good and bad aspects of her 18-year marriage on her MISSPELLING podcast on March 29
Spelling said that when she first met McDermott in 2005 on the set of Mind Over Murder, they had a “quick, passionate falling in love period.”
The couple met on the set of the TV movie Mind Over Murder in 2005.
There was an instant connection, even though they were both already married.
“We had a very fast, passionate falling in love period,” the actress said, describing it as a “fast and furious romance.”
She praised McDermott for letting her be herself. “I just remember being able to let him see me.”
Continuing, she explained, “It wasn’t as cute as, giggling, ‘This is what people want me to be.’ I was able to be so loud and so ugh, Tori’s body type. I could have had a chicken mouth,” she claimed.
Spelling said that when she and McDermott first got together, she was able to be herself around him. “I was able to be loud and ugh, Tori’s body type. I could have had a chicken mouth,” she claimed
The couple married in 2006 and soon began welcoming their children; Liam, 17, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, seven (pictured in Calabasas, CA in October 2019)
“I’m not just Donna Martin, the perfect good girl. I could have a bad girl inside me and that was okay. And he liked all those aspects and he liked how smart I was and accepted me.”
The couple married in May 2006 and welcomed son Liam in 2007.
Their family grew quickly and the former couple became parents to Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, seven.
“Honestly, our relationship was never the same after we had kids,” the single mother said
“We’ve always said, ‘We’re not going to be the parents who change. We’re going to make our relationship a priority, just the two of us. We have date nights.’ And everything went out the window. I became completely focused on the children and, in a sense, abandoned him.”
While focusing on parenthood, the Izzy’s Way Home star said, “Our relationship definitely changed, which really made me feel like I was here alone with the kids.”
“And he was there, but he was an extra set of hands. He put the car seat in because I didn’t know how to do it and stuff like that. Emotionally it was me. Like, “Tag, it’s you.” I was the parent.”
The couple began making a living through a series of reality shows starting in 2007 with Tori & Dean: Inn Love, in which they operated a bed and breakfast.
The star said: ‘It was a big responsibility and rebuilding a career at the same time – which I did. We have become a family brand. I went from being a rich Hollywood girl… to being a cool mom. ‘Look at her. She does it all.” Meanwhile, behind the scenes, it all fell apart.”
To live up to the image they created for the world, Spelling said she “created the character of Dean,” turning him into “all those princes I wanted when I was young.”
‘He had a lot of those qualities. But… you know… We were doing our reality show and the first one said, ‘Nice, nice.’ So any bad things that would happen, fights or whatever, they would edit,” she said of the process of protecting the brand.
‘I heard women all over the world: ‘I wish I had a dean.’ And I thought, ‘If you only knew…’”
