If Diddy did it, he’s in deep trouble.
Police, Homeland Security and several other black-clad, helmeted FBI agents raided his buildings in Los Angeles and Miami on Monday as part of a dramatic sex trafficking ring.
They even had his sons marched out of his $40 million LA mansion with guns drawn. And – from photos released by Sean “Diddy” Combs’ lawyers – it appears his flashy cribs have been vandalized.
We’re talking about Puff Daddy, not El Chapo, right?
Now the Bad Boy mogul is taking a page from another beleaguered bad boy’s playbook, as the rapper’s lawyer called the coordinated raids a “gross overuse of military-level force” and a “witch hunt.”
Did he take that from the glamorous Trump lawyer Alina Habba?
The Bad Boy mogul is taking a page from another beleaguered bad boy’s playbook, as the rapper’s lawyer called the coordinated raids a “witch hunt.” Did he take that from the glamorous Trump lawyer Alina Habba? (Photo: Donald and Melania Trump with Diddy in 2005).
FBI agents searched every inch of Donald’s Florida fortress at Mar-a-Lago in August 2022, and the response to such a heavy-handed and public display was a shot in the arm for the former president’s re-election campaign.
Maybe Puff – good lord man, pick one name! – does relying on outrage also rely on its brand?
Well, take it easy, Diddly-Do. Why would someone ‘witch’ on you?
You’re not exactly taking on the Deep State.
Last November, the liquor and music mogul was hit with a civil lawsuit from his ex-girlfriend Cassandra “Cassie” Ventura, who alleged he raped her, forced her into orgies with male prostitutes and ran a human trafficking ring.
Combs and Ventura settled a day after the lawsuit was filed. The terms were not disclosed.
As if that wasn’t enough, a former girlfriend of Ventura told DailyMail.com that Combs – gruesomely – forced Cassie to remove her brand new breast implants shortly after surgery and against medical advice.
Combs reportedly thought her new pair was too plump. If you can say one thing about P. Diddy: he has good taste. (Barf!)
Then there were three more civil lawsuits from women making equally damning claims, including a disgusting allegation of gang rape involving a 17-year-old victim.
Here’s the tragically unfunny thing about industry grandmasters like Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein (who, unlike Diddy and his sons, were actually accused of crimes and convicted of the terrible things they were accused of): there are whispers of warning about them for years.
Last November, the liquor and music mogul was hit with a civil lawsuit from his ex-girlfriend Cassandra “Cassie” Ventura (pictured), who alleged he raped her, forced her into orgies with male prostitutes and engaged in human trafficking had led. ring. Combs and Ventura settled a day after the lawsuit was filed.
Should we have paid more attention when Usher told Howard Stern in 2016 about life in Diddy’s party house in New York in 1994, when Usher was only 14 years old?
“It was pretty wild. It was crazy,” he said of his time under Combs’ greasy wing. “Very strange things happened and I didn’t necessarily understand it.”
When asked by Stern if he would send his kids to “Puffy Flavor Camp,” Usher replied emphatically, “Hell no!”
The sharpest analysis came from Diddy’s long-standing rival veteran “50 Cent,” who claimed of Monday’s raids, “Sh** just got real… They don’t come like this unless they have a case.”
Combs and his plagiarism legal team may come down hard on the Ciroc this week, but I’m not sure there’s much to cheer about.
The “witch hunt” defense won’t cut it if the FBI finds objectionable goods. Then Puffy goes up in smoke.
Talk is cheap, Olivia
Olivia Colman50, has been floating around gender pay inequality in Hollywood but it seems a bit cheap coming from a woman who has won a lot of money, a lot of awards, and then suddenly speaks out about girls not being paid enough.
‘I’m very aware that if I was Olivier Colman, I’d make a lot more money than I do.’
Put a sock in it, sir!
I knew you were stubble…
BREAK: Taylor Swift and saw Chewbacca making out on a Bahamian beach.
Oh wait. That is Travis Kelce. Was he wearing a stylish new T-shirt made from brown Brillo pads?
BREAKING: Taylor Swift and Chewbacca are seen making out on a Bahamian beach.
Kamala’s PR disaster
Cackling Kamala Harris was delighted when locals greeted her in Puerto Rico last Friday.
No, actually they were protesting her presence in Spanish and she clapped along like a big doll as they shouted, “We want to know, Kamala, what are you doing?” (Sing along if you know it!)
The answer is that our struggling Veep headed south on a cynical Latino vote-seeking mission – but the fine people of Puerto Rico won’t easily forget how they and Old Joe failed to deliver on promises to help rebuild the island in the aftermath of two devastating events. Hurricanes of 2017. That was until it became electorally expedient.
What a horror!
Master click-baiter and emetic anti-Semite Candace Owens has dedicated her career to a series of completely baseless conspiracies about France’s First Lady.
“I would stake my entire professional reputation on the fact that Brigitte Macron is indeed a man,” she said.
It looks like Owens lost the bet. The greedy attention shrew has been summarily fired as Daily Wire’s most desperate bomber after bosses finally had enough of her rabid ravings.
For Owens, the fate of the establishment elite is a fate worse than death, although some would argue that unemployment and a nosedive into irrelevance could be slightly worse.
Lard-Ashian no more
Former Kardashian husband Scott Disick, 40, can’t seem to put down the Ozempic shot and has become Hollywood’s latest disappearing act.
This miracle cure could magically melt the chub, but Grinch bod Scott seems to have overdone the meager juice and fans now fear he is withering away.
Sources say he turned to the lard-busting injections because his middle-aged muffin top spiraled out of control following a forced recovery period after he flipped his Lamborghini in a car accident in 2022.
If he continues to shrink, he will soon be able to ride his son’s hot wheels.
Former Kardashian husband Scott Disick, 40, can’t seem to put down the Ozempic shot and has become Hollywood’s latest disappearing act.
Boeing, Boeing, GONE!
Finally, the beleaguered company’s CEO, Dave Calhoun, has been blown out like a loose door plug at 15,000 feet.
Of course he will ‘resign’ at the end of the year, but… concerns about the assembly of the entire 737 MAX fleetIt’s going to take a lot more than this bald scalp to reassure worried Americans when they board a Boeing plane.
Calhoun jumps into his detachable life raft with a few other executive friends as part of a “leadership shakeup.”
Be careful when removing those gold parachutes from the overhead bins, sir!
Bruce’s almighty pecs
Bruce Springsteen hit a bum during a recent show in Phoenix, with stunned fans saying he looked more like actress Tilda Swinton or soccer sister Megan Rapinoe.
Sporting a serious gray pixie cut and an undone flannel that revealed an exaggeratedly plump set of pecs, some wondered if The Boss was born to run… to the plastic surgeon.
Bruce Springsteen hit a bum during a recent show in Phoenix, with stunned fans saying he looked more like actress Tilda Swinton or soccer sister Megan Rapinoe.
Casey’s kindness
Florida’s female boss, Casey DeSantis, had one beautiful message for Kate Middleton amid her battle with cancer, she wrote, “From one mother to another, you got this. If I can beat it, you can too. Have faith, stay strong and fight like crazy. We pray for you!’
Hopefully, the well wishes of a cancer survivor and fellow public figure like Casey will reassure the princess that – despite relentless and vicious online theorizing – this battle is hers for the taking.
Fight like hell, Kate!
