She is a gold medal-winning Olympian and a rising star on television.
But Sam Quek has told how she has struggled for years with ‘mum guilt’ – a term she urges other mums to banish.
The former sportswoman, 35, whose children are Molly, two, and Zac, one, said the negativity surrounding the popular phrase makes mums feel like they are not good enough.
According to research from supplement company Haliborange, around 95 percent of British mothers experience ‘mum guilt’.
The term refers to the emotions many mothers have when they return to work after giving birth and feel like they are not spending enough time at home.
She is a gold medal-winning Olympian and a rising star on television. But Sam Quek (pictured) has told how she has struggled for years with ‘mum guilt’ – a term she is urging other mums to banish
The former sportswoman, 35, whose children are Molly, two, and Zac, one, (pictured above) said the negativity surrounding the popular phrase makes mums feel like they are not good enough
Ms Quek, who is now team captain on BBC’s A Question of Sport, said she has no “regrets” about returning to work two months after Zac’s birth last year, but she faced a judgment of the public.
But she told the Mail: ‘(About) 95 per cent of British mums suffer from mum guilt on a daily basis, that’s a huge number and mum guilt I don’t think is a very positive conversation to have.
‘It’s usually things you haven’t done yet, what you need to do, what you could have done better.
“I was one of them and we all have this in common.”
The sports star, who is married to property entrepreneur Tom Mairs, said she is retraining herself to look at the “positive sides” of her day rather than “questioning” how present she is with her children every night been.
‘Even when I come to work, if I am in London for a day or two, I would beat myself up and try to make up for my absence by doing things like filling the fridge with food or writing down activities or packing of the bag, putting all the clothes outside with the shoes,” she said.
“And my husband said, ‘I’m very grateful that you did that, but I can do it myself.’
She added: ‘Obviously they won’t starve and have no clothes, but again, it’s just ‘mom guilt’.
‘I know especially from conversations with friends and other mothers that they do the same to compensate for what we feel is absence, when that is not the case.
‘We pursue our careers, we do what we love and we are also role models and make money ourselves.’
She added: ‘I love being a mother, I love being a hands-on mother, but I also love working.’
Ms Quek launched a TV career after rising to fame alongside the England hockey team at Rio 2016 and co-hosting the Eurovision Song Contest opening ceremony earlier this year.
She said she will “never regret” the decision to return to work two months after Zac’s birth, despite feeling “external pressure” from other people.
“I still think it was the right decision for me, I will never regret it and it was probably more the external pressure from some people who thought, ‘Well, that’s really early, who’s going to take care of the baby ?’ and I said, ‘Well, my husband,’” she said.
“You have to think, ‘Well, actually it’s a 50/50 parenting role that me and my husband take on and I’m extremely lucky that we decided to do that because it’s not like he’s doing any worse.’
‘There was a lot of external pressure and with that comes internal pressure.’
Ms Quek, who joined A Question of Sport as team captain in 2021, said you can also “get caught up” in social media and start comparing yourself to others.
“It’s so easy to fall into a hole when you’re scrolling and you see other moms on their Instagram pages and everything looks perfect and you start thinking, ‘Oh, I should do that activity or maybe I should do that,” she said.
She said that every time she posts something on her social media account that does not involve her children, she is asked why she is not with them.
“Just because I put up a picture of me working today doesn’t mean I didn’t spend time or see my kids,” she said.
“I may not have posted on Instagram Stories with my kids in four days, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my kids in four days.”
95 percent of British mothers admit to feeling guilty about their mothers every day.
Haliborange teams up with Olympic gold medalist Sam Quek to put an end to mom guilt and instead focus on their parents’ pride.
Join the pledge by sharing your ‘Parent Pride’ moments on social media, using the hashtag #EndMumGuilt and tagging @haliborangeuk
