Emotional Dame Kelly Holmes reveals she went mute and ‘felt numb with grief’ after her mother Pam died
Dame Kelly Holmes has revealed she went mute for three weeks after her mother Pam Norman died.
The Olympian, 53, was devastated when her mum passed away in 2017 from myeloma, a form of blood cancer.
Appearing on Loose Women on Thursday, Kelly gave an insight into her overwhelming grief in the weeks after her mother’s death and how it manifested itself into physical symptoms.
Kelly told the panel: ‘I found the years of ‘first’s’ without her extremely hard. When I knew the year anniversary was coming I was petrified because I suffered so badly with the grief. I was numb at every stage.
‘If I saw the 7th of August on a calendar I knew how much it affected me on that day and I still had that element of grief in me.
Heartbroken: Dame Kelly Holmes has revealed how she went mute for three weeks after her mother Pam Norman died
Grief: The Olympian, 53, was devastated when her mum passed away in 2017 from myeloma, a form of blood cancer (pictured in 2005 at Buckingham Palace with her mother)
‘I went mute for about three weeks after she died. I didn’t get over that really intense period. I thought that same anguish would come over me on that date.’
Dame Kelly, who won gold in the 800m and 1500m at the Athens Olympics in 2004, said she was extremely close to her mum, who brought her up on a council estate in Kent, and it took a long time for her to accept she was gone.
The athlete’s father, a car mechanic, ran off when she was just one years old, leaving a young Pam to raise her alone.
The sportswoman spent time in care as a young child after concerns that her mother, who gave birth to her at the age of 17, couldn’t cope with raising a baby by herself.
While Kelly spent periods of time in care, her mother always came back to collect her, later marrying painter and decorator Mick Holmes when Kelly was four, who she regards as her father.
Dame Kelly previously said of her mother’s death: ‘It was the worst day of my life. She was only 17 years older than me so we were very close.
‘It was awful, I suffered bereavement for a long time. It took a lot of time and talking to people, making sure my friends knew I needed them to be around.
‘Every day I long to be able to tell my mum what I have been doing. We used to speak every day.’
Achievement: Kelly won gold in the 800m and 1500m at the Athens Olympics in 2004
Star guest: Elsewhere on the show, Kelly and the rest of the panel spoke to Strictly’s professional dancer Johannes Radebe
Impressive: Johannes and Kelly later showed off their dance moves in stilettos
Amazed: Kaye Adams couldn’t believe it as she watched Kelly strut her stuff
While she had a close relationship with her mother, Dame Kelly previously admitted in her documentary Being Me, released last year, her experiences in care have had a lasting impact.
‘I grew up not trusting people because my biggest memories of being in the care home was the times that my mum had to leave,’ she said.
‘You know, I used to literally scream the place down because I just thought she was never going to come back to get me.’
‘She wouldn’t like hearing how this has really, really been affecting me. Yeah, she’d really, really hate like how I am and how it literally destroys me. But I know, she’d be so proud of me for doing this.’
