World-renowned relationship experts reveal how important sex really is in a healthy marriage

World-renowned relationship experts have revealed how important sex really is in a marriage – and how often couples should be intimate.

US-based psychologists and longtime couple Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman have “dedicated their lives to the research and practice of promoting healthy, long-lasting relationships” for more than forty years, according to their website.

They were recently on Paul C. Brunson’s podcast We need to talk to share some of the key characteristics of a happy and healthy romance.

And according to the love gurus, frequent sex is less essential for a strong relationship than you might think.

‘The first study of marriage in 1938 by Lewis Terman [found] that there was no correlation between the frequency of couples having sex and how happily they were married,” John said.

Lewis, a psychologist at Stanford University, surveyed 800 married couples about 400 different relationship characteristics and “found little or no association between frequency of intercourse and marital satisfaction.” New York Times previously reported.

John said there is a ‘huge variation in how often people have sex’ within happy marriages, and that there is ‘no right’ number of times you should be intimate in a week.

The award-winning doctor claimed that having good sex with your partner depends more on how strong your romance is than on what actually happens in the bedroom.

“People who have great sex lives say I love you every day and mean it, kiss passionately for no reason,” he continued.

“They give compliments and surprise gifts, they cuddle a lot, they are affectionate even in public, and they have romantic dates and romantic vacations.”

Julie added that it’s more important to build “a sense of security and an emotional connection” with your partner than focusing on lust, and once those are present, great sex will happen naturally.

As for their “keys” to a long-lasting marriage, Julie said it’s essential to have a “positive outlook” on your partner and give them the “benefit of the doubt” if something goes wrong.

She also said that happy couples must learn to “manage conflict” together, “honor each other’s dreams” and continually compliment each other.

US-based psychologists Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman sat down on Paul C. Brunson’s podcast We Need to Talk to share some of the key characteristics of a happy and healthy romance

And according to the love gurus, frequent sex is less essential for a strong relationship than you might think

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John said there is a ‘huge variation in how often people have sex’ within happy marriages, and that there is ‘no right’ number of times you should be intimate in a week (stock image)

‘Admiration is very important. And it can’t be something you just think but never say and never express, it has to be something you say all the time,” she said.

“Say what you like about your partner, what you respect about your partner, that’s super important.”

John added that “trust and commitment” are the “foundation” of all romances.

“Both people have to think for two, you really have to think about what will benefit both of you,” he said.

“Even when Julie is not with me, she is with me and I think of her. In the decisions I make and the things I do, I know she has my back.”