A woman has caused a stir after revealing she wanted to pull the plug on her friend’s baby shower after the expectant mother left her messages unanswered.
The unnamed 22-year-old woman wrote on Reddit about the disastrous planning of her friend’s party and admitted she wanted to cancel it.
In the post, she confessed that she had tried her best to organize her friend’s baby shower.
However, she admitted that she got into trouble when her friend Ally started ignoring her messages about the party.
And when the expectant mother finally hit send, it seemed like the friend had had enough, as she indicated that she no longer wanted to host the event.
In the Am I the asshole? On the subreddit, the 22-year-old wondered if it was her fault for trying to stop the party because of her frustrations with the expectant mother.
A woman has sparked controversy after revealing she wanted to pull the plug on her friend’s baby shower when the expectant mother left her messages unanswered (stock image)
The post was titled, ‘Am I an asshole for canceling my girlfriend’s baby shower?’
She started the thread by revealing that she would be using “fake names.”
‘My friend Ally (F22) is expecting her first child, a girl in November. She is not very close to her family and as far as I know she has not told anyone she is pregnant.
‘For context, I met Ally a little over a year ago when our partners became friends. Three months ago, Ally, myself (F22), and our other friend Fiona (F23) started planning a baby shower for her. It was also discussed that Fiona and I would cover the costs of everything.
‘Since none of us had ever been before and this would be our first time, everything was planned well in advance, down to the decorations, the food, the activities, etc. We had invitations made, the only thing we hadn’t sorted out yet was the venue, because she said she would do that.’
The friend explained that while they were having the shower, Ally moved in with her parents. She said she had been given permission to have the shower at their home.
She added: ‘Around the same time we started planning the baby shower, Ally and her partner moved into her parents’ house.
“She said she had permission and it was okay to have the baby shower there, so as far as we were concerned the baby shower would be there!”
The unnamed 22-year-old took to Reddit to detail her friend’s disastrous party planning — and admitted she wanted to cancel it
And while everything seemed to be going smoothly, that came to an abrupt end two months later when the expectant mother started ignoring her party planners.
The message continued: ‘Two months later (one month ago) we tried to contact Ally and messaged her every day for almost two weeks to try and sort things out.
“There were things she wanted to do cleaning-wise to get everything ready for the baby shower and we were happy to help her with that. We also had to deliver the invitations that I had made so she could send them out to her friends. We just had to know what times would work best for her. Since she didn’t respond, Fiona and I basically assumed she didn’t want to do the baby shower anymore.’
And although the two best friends thought the party was off, their assumption seemed to haunt them when Ally finally responded.
‘Three days ago she finally texted me and said, “Hey, sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’ve been sick. When are you free for baby shower stuff again?”‘
“Another friend who saw her about a week ago said she looked fine. And to make matters worse, she has a history of saying she’s “sick” when she just doesn’t want any visitors. She also posted herself on her story with her other friends while she was supposedly “sick”. At this point we’re only a week away from the baby shower and I’m just not feeling it anymore,” the original poster said.
“I should also mention that I live in another city about an hour away and I have three kids under the age of five, so I really don’t have any time to waste. I feel like I’ve done everything I can to prepare for the baby shower. For example, I’ve ordered balloons, invitations, gifts for her and the baby, and some other decorations for the baby shower. I’m just waiting for her to respond.”
The friend admitted that she had tried to be understanding of Ally’s situation, but that she knew how difficult it can be to have a child and how much it takes from you.
People were fiercely divided in the comments section as some users defended the anonymous user
However, she explained that she no longer wanted to be a part of her friend’s special day, concluding the post by questioning whether she would be an “asshole” if she pulled the plug on the party.
She said: ‘I’ve tried to show her respect because I know how difficult pregnancy can be and I understand if she needed space, but honestly I feel like I’m just being manipulated.
“Would I be an asshole if I canceled the baby shower? A friend of mine told me I was an asshole for canceling hers, but I feel like she’s not putting any effort into the baby shower or our friendship.”
There was a lot of division in the comments among people, as some users stood up for the anonymous user.
Someone said: ‘So don’t be an asshole – if I knew there was a baby shower for me I would do anything to help the person hosting it! Her not responding for two weeks is an asshole move. Pregnant or not! Cancel that shit. Return everything you ordered!’
Someone else wrote: ‘Not that asshole. She ghosted you two. It seems like she realised her new best friends weren’t going to throw a baby shower and thought she’d better get back together with you. Some people only want friends they can benefit from.’
“I’m not that much of an asshole, but if you’ve already bought everything, I would just throw a party, but after that I would minimize your contact with her,” someone else commented.
However, one user claimed she was wrong.
They wrote: ‘I’m not sure how much effort she would have to put in, since you and Fiona are hosting the baby shower. Why don’t you and Fiona, as hosts, send out the invites? Still, it was rude of her not to respond to your messages. Her punishment is that some of her friends probably won’t be able to come at this late hour and she’ll have to clean up after herself.
“You’d be the asshole to cancel the baby shower at this point. If that was in the cards, you should have said, ‘If we don’t hear from you by any date, we’ll assume you’re no longer interested.’”