You can watch Lily Allen’s (for a fee) on OnlyFans and there isn’t a woman over 30 who hasn’t been asked to keep her heels on in bed by her lover.
Yet foot fetishes (podophilia) remain one of the most misunderstood fetishes – despite being one of the most common. Approximately five percent of the population has some form of foot fetish, and one in seven people has had at least one foot-related fantasy.
As with most things people don’t understand, there are many myths.
Most people with foot fetishes are more interested in doing things to other people’s feet than having things done to their feet, for example. The friend who’s always looking for a foot massage probably doesn’t have one – although the guy who signs up right away might.
Men have a foot fetish much more often than women, but women do have them. And it’s not always about physical contact. Many people with a foot fetish are happy just looking at their feet.
For some people, a significant experience with feet during their formative years is the foundation for their fetish
What causes a foot fetish?
For some people, a significant experience with feet during their formative years is the foundation for their fetish.
A man told me that his mother had a very attractive friend who wore high heels, while the other women he knew did not.
“I remember coming out of my bedroom when I first discovered masturbation – I must have been about eight – and seeing her heels balanced delicately on the rungs of a stool in the kitchen. The lingering excitement after sex and the sexy shoes somehow mingled. I’m sure that’s where it all started.”
On a biological level, it is thought that the part of the brain responsible for sexual arousal is located near the area that processes sensory information from the feet. The proximity could lead to a crossover, making feet a source of arousal.
It’s also taboo – a guaranteed way to make something attractive!
Have you ever had someone suck your toes? I have and there is definitely an erotic charge to it (although claims that there is a nerve in the big toe that leads directly to the vulva are not true).
The eroticism comes mainly from the fact that a part of the body that we associate with impurity is sexually valued.
Others are attracted to feet because they are often (partially) hidden, making them seem mysterious and forbidden.
It can be a strangely intimate experience to see a friend’s feet for the first time, especially when they are quirky and reveal an unexpected vulnerability.
But what’s sexy about feet?
While many of us can appreciate a well-groomed, good-looking foot, few find it a huge turn-on. Those who do, however, find it just as (or even more) intense than the average attraction to traditionally erotic body parts such as breasts, buttocks or genitals.
The arch of a well-formed foot, the feeling of giving or receiving a foot massage, the idea of kissing, sucking or licking someone’s feet… all of these are incredibly arousing to someone who worships them.
Different foot fetishists prefer different elements: clean feet, dirty feet, big feet, small feet, high arches, flat feet, feet with perfectly aligned toes, feet with crooked toes. Foot decorations are also arousing: shoes and stockings, ankle chains, toe rings, nail polish – even socks (including worn socks) – can turn a foot fetishist on.
Many men like women in a certain type of shoe – shoes with a plunging neckline are particularly popular. (There’s a reason low-cut Louboutins are so popular!)
As far as fetishes go, this one is pretty innocent. My feeling after researching and writing this is that we could all be a little less judgmental and a little more viva la difference!
What It’s Like To Have A Foot Fetish
British sex expert Tracey Cox writes that foot fetishes remain one of the most misunderstood fetishes, despite being one of the most common.
“It’s not something weird, creepy. It’s just appreciating a body part, like some men appreciate breasts or buttocks.”
Chris, a 36-year-old lawyer, has had a foot fetish since childhood.
‘Imagine getting as excited by bare feet as you do by a woman’s breasts. That’s what it feels like to me. In the summer, I walk around in a world full of topless women. Men can be ‘boob men’ and go wild when they see a good pair: that’s okay. But if you get as excited by feet as you do, you’re weird.
‘When people talk about foot fetishes, they either make fun of them or say, “Yuck. Feet are gross! That’s disgusting!” (It’s okay to lick genitals, where pee and blood come out, but it’s disgusting to lick feet? Get it!) You learn early on to keep it a secret.
‘Women do have foot fetishes, but they are few and far between. Some will indulge you by letting you suck their toes… but only once. Once is fun, the second time you’re a pervert. The first girl who gave me a “footjob” – using her foot to massage my crotch – might have enjoyed it if she had been raised less conservatively.
‘We’re a minority, but there’s no pride or t-shirts or people standing up for us. (BTW, just because I like feet doesn’t mean I like YOUR feet. That’s like men saying they’ll be up against the wall if they find out a guy is gay. Being gay doesn’t make you lust after all men.)
“The happiest I’ve ever been was when I was 32 and with a woman who not only satisfied my fetish, she loved it as much as I did. She had beautiful feet and loved having me admire them. I loved the smell of her feet after she’d been walking around in heels and stockings all day. She’d let me massage them, kiss them, smell them, or lick them. It was heaven. I was devastated when we broke up (it had nothing to do with the fetish, she moved away for work).
‘No matter what sex act I’m doing, my focus is always on the woman’s feet. If I can’t see them or (preferably) touch them, sex isn’t nearly as exciting. I do have sex without feet involved – otherwise I’d almost never have sex – but it’s just so, so much better for me when it does happen.
‘I’m talking to a guy online about our fetish (we’re reduced to this stuff because no one is open about it) and he says his most intense orgasm is when a woman puts her bare feet in his face and lets him lick her toes. The penis doesn’t have to be touched.
‘All my sexual fantasies involve feet. My current favorite is sitting next to a woman wearing high stiletto heels on a night train, us drinking and her using her toes and feet to masturbate me and bring me to orgasm. Another is me penetrating her with my toes.’
What It’s Like To Have A Partner With A Foot Fetish
Most people with a foot fetish are more interested in doing things to other people’s feet than in getting things done to their own feet, for example
“It can make you paranoid. Every time we hang out with friends, I look to see if anyone is wearing heels that they find sexier than mine.”
Amanda is 26 and has been together with her husband Matt for four years.
Let’s face it: of all the fetishes you’ve had, a foot fetish is one of the best.
‘I wasn’t completely surprised – Matt had always asked me to keep my heels on during sex. But so had many other lovers, so I didn’t read too much into it.
‘But looking back now, one of the first compliments Matt gave me was about the shoes I was wearing.
“We were about two months into the relationship when he dared me to put my stockinged foot on his crotch. He said it as a joke, but when I did it, I could tell from the look on his face (and erection) that he really enjoyed it. It’s still one of his favorite ways to come: me using my (stockinged) foot to massage him until he comes.
“It’s not that big of a deal to me. It’s just his ‘thing’. We all have a quirk or kink that does it for us. This is his. Is it really any different than a man being obsessed with my breasts? It can be fun. The first time I let him explore my feet in a sexual way, it was a huge turn-on. It’s always a turn-on to see someone get really turned on. But mostly I enjoyed worshipping a part of me that I had never really thought about before.
“He loves to feel my feet in public. He’ll pretend to drop something so he can run his fingers over the top of my foot when I’m wearing heels. His fetish is for feet in heels, not bare feet, so I think his fetish is more about the shoes than the feet.
‘The problem with having a partner with a fetish for heels is that there are women everywhere in heels. When I first found out, I was paranoid. Every time we would hang out with friends, I would look straight at the women’s feet to see who my competitors were and feel jealous if one of them was wearing a shoe he found sexier than mine.
‘Friends have said that I’ve never succumbed to the comfy-sneakers-with-everything thing. Sure, I’ll wear sneakers and scruffy old slippers or go barefoot when I want to. But I take it as a compliment that my partner appreciates every inch of me.’
Visit traceycox.com for Tracey’s books, blog, podcasts and product ranges (available exclusively from Lovehoney).