Joe Biden’s campaign died last night during the debate – and who can we blame?
The bad doctor, Jill Biden.
Democrats were left reeling as their worst fears were realized: the Oval Office Zombie seized up and squeaked with a raspy voice, incoherent meows, garbled mumbles and outright malfunctions for 90 tortuous minutes.
Jill knows the bitter bedroom truth better than anyone. Yet here she came, decked out in hospital blue, stiffly supporting herself and leading him off the stage, Nurse Ratched in Oscar de la Renta.
“Four more years,” she screeched to a singing crowd of watch party enthusiasts who had clearly seen another debate.
“Joe, you did a great job, you answered every question!” she came off condescendingly like a babysitter congratulating a toddler for leaving his diaper dry.
Joe Biden’s campaign died last night during the debate—and who do we blame? The bad doctor, Jill Biden.
Jill knows the bitter bedroom truth better than anyone. Yet here she came, decked out in hospital blues, supporting her stiffly and leading him off the stage, Nurse Ratched in Oscar de la Renta.
The presidential puppet mistress undoubtedly has some explaining to do.
This is what Baghdad Biden said in January: ‘I see Joe every day. I see him, you know, moving around this country. I see his strength. I see his energy. I see his passion… His age is an advantage.’
Does she still believe it? Because while she is charging the defibrillator for a final reboot, the establishment finally takes the old horse to the glue factory.
The headlines in the New York Times hit like bullets:
‘JOE MUST RETREAT FROM THE RACE’
‘BIDEN CANNOT CONTINUE LIKE THIS’
‘PRESIDENT BIDEN, IT’S TIME TO JACK OFF’
On CNN and MSNBC, the morning mood was practically funereal.
Last night’s claim at the White House that Sleepy simply had a ‘cold’, repeated with grimaces by Rachel Maddow and co., no longer held water.
His action was truly fatal: a cold that turned into a complete medical disaster.
Less than a minute later, Biden choked on his word salad.
“There are a thousand trillionaires in America… I mean billionaires… we finally beat Medicare!”
Huh!?
He sat in a hyperbaric chamber for a week, pumped full of peptides and Powerade, and this was the best he could do?
Even for the easiest anti-Donald issue – abortion, January 6 – he couldn’t find the words:
‘So many women who… including a young woman who has just been murdered, and he [Trump]…he went to her funeral. The idea that she was murdered by a… by… by an immigrant who came in… there are many young women who are raped by their… by their in-laws, by their… by their husbands, brothers and sisters.’
Moderator Dana Bash interrupted him and eased his suffering with a short but powerful “thank you,” after which Trump delivered the coup de grace.
Don’s killer line: “I really don’t know what he said at the end of that sentence.” I don’t think he knows what he said either.’
Desperate and insane, Joe tried to alarm his enemy by accusing him of ‘having sex with a porn star while his wife was pregnant!’
“Joe, you did a great job, you answered all the questions!” she said condescendingly, like a nanny congratulating a toddler for keeping his diaper dry.
But while you can’t spell Melania on MIA, it seemed like Don borrowed some of his wife’s steely stiletto demeanor.
“I didn’t have sex with a porn star,” he replied calmly, making Biden look like a dirty, sex-obsessed uncle.
The situation turned absurd and culminated in the Angry Codger Olympics as Biden claimed Trump was “only three years younger,” both bragged about their golf handicaps and both claimed the other was “the worst president in history.”
On immigration and identity politics, Trump has delivered clean blows.
Biden’s laughable claim that Border Patrol had endorsed him in 2020 was fact-checked in real time by the Border Patrol union’s Twitter account (!), which responded, “To be clear: We have never endorsed Biden and never will.”
Meanwhile, Trump’s big words about illegals “taking” jobs from blacks and Latinos extinguished the fuse in the culture war that Biden tried to stoke with hackneyed slogans like “kids in cages” and “fine people on both sides” in Charlottesville.
Such nonsense and disproven nonsense is long past its usefulness and will not convince ordinary Americans who are still worried about their grocery bills, inflation and unaffordable housing.
You know things are going bad when the Vice President herself, the Babbling Czarina, looks pretty confident during her post-debate softball session with Anderson Cooper.
The president had a “slow start,” she admitted, before lying through her laughter: “[He] fights on behalf of the American people on substance, on policy, on performance. Joe Biden is extraordinarily strong.’
Cooper choked on his fig leaf; Biden’s performance was a “disaster,” he wailed.
New York Magazine was out early: ‘Biden Failed’. And by morning there was only one story in the city:
‘Democrats are panicking’ – The Washington Post
“OPERATION: REPLACE BIDEN” – The Drudge Report
‘Biden’s debate gamble went spectacularly wrong’ – LA Times
But as the oatmeal of Joe’s mushy mind rises to the surface and America finally changes massively to beg him to go, will Dr. Jill Biden be sued for her husband’s malpractice?