Dear Jane,
Three years ago I was diagnosed with non-alcoholic liver disease, and not long after, blood tests showed that I cancer.
The doctor who diagnosed me told me that the prognosis was not positive and that I probably only had six months to live. I asked for a second opinion and that doctor confirmed the first prognosis.
After the initial shock, I decided that I would not allow myself to live the last months of my life in misery. So I told my friends and loved ones, and started selling and giving things away. I spent money like it was going out of style, I said yes to all the nice things I had never allowed myself.
And I prepared myself. I was ready.
But after that six month ‘deadline’ passed, my condition remained pretty much the same. Three years later I am still here, as healthy as can be with my condition, and I am managing my disease very well.
Dear Jane, the doctors told me I only had six months to live. Three years later I am still alive but my life feels like it is over.
I know most people would say it’s a blessing to have received such a punishment, just to overcome it, but the truth is it has ruined my life.
After telling everyone the news, I am now too embarrassed to show my face in public or even talk to them on the phone. I feel like an impostor. I also learned what the people in my life really think of me – the people who really cared about me, and the ones who didn’t give a damn.
The humiliation I feel at the idea that people think I faked this terminal diagnosis is just all-encompassing. Even my children are devastated by this.
What is left of my life is destroyed by shame. I honestly feel like everything would have been better for everyone if the diagnosis had been correct.
International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning issues in her column Dear Jane Agony Aunt
Please help me, what should I do?
By,
Life or death
Dear Life or Death,
I am so sorry that shame overshadows this wonderful news and that you feel only humility at this beautiful second chance.
You say it ruined your life, but you don’t specify what people said, only what you think they think. If they are true friends, I would imagine they would be happy with this second chance.
Miracles happen all the time. How fortunate that you are still so successful despite such a horrible diagnosis.
Unless you have given them reason to doubt you, unless there is something I am overlooking, I would advise you to put the humiliation and shame aside and just get on with living a good life.
You say your children are in turmoil, and I wonder why? Do they not believe this? If so, I wonder why you don’t show them your medical records, or bring them to your next doctor’s appointment.
If people explicitly doubt your story, I would certainly do so: have your doctor provide evidence of how well you are doing, despite all likelihood pointing to a very different outcome.
I wish you the best.