I woke up this morning with my lover in my arms, tenderly licking my ear.
“Good morning, my love,” I whispered. ‘I love you so much.’ I got up and followed into the sunlit living room, where we lay down on the couch and looked into each other’s eyes.
This ecstasy of adoration is how we start each new day. Because finally, at 53, I have found the love of my life and I am living for every last moment of it.
I’m not talking about Terence, my tall, dark and dashing friend. He had already left for the office earlier. No, the subject of my devotion is Pimlico, my blue whippet, the dog I dreamed about for decades before I acquired him six years ago this October. ‘Cause I’m a DINKWAD, and that’s how I roll.
Hannah Betts with her boyfriend Terence and their blue whippet Pimlico
You know, DINKWAD – the abbreviation for couples with a ‘double income, no children, with a dog’. First, we had YUPPIEs (“young, upwardly mobile professionals”). Then we had LATs (“couples living together long distance”). We’re familiar with DINKs (‘double income, no kids’), and now we have DINKWADS: DINKs plus Rover, so three.
New research from the charity The Guide Dogs For The Blind Association reveals that we DINKWADs make up 15 per cent of all UK dog owners; especially in our South London area, where training a dog is far more common than training a pincher.
Nearly half of this 15 percent say they are delaying parenthood in favor of their furry friends. Among the 20, 30, and 40 year old owners in my area, I’d say they’re putting off parenthood completely in favor of puppy love. Goodbye, school gate dramas. Hello, doga (dog yoga) and vet costs.
My friend Sophia, 39, is an example of this. Despite freezing her eggs a few years ago, she has decided that Dennis, the Parson Russell terrier, and not a baby, is her destiny. He arrived 78 hours ago and she is already head over heels.
Among younger couples, it has become an aspirational dream to be a DINKWAD. Click through to social media to see handsome, child-free couples lounging in pristine white interiors, while some appealing Fido basks as the apple of their eye.
Here is @leven.met.een.landcloud boasting to her 1.46 million YouTube subscribers about “finding fulfillment,” “a community of dope people” and “traveling the world” alongside her smiley Samoyed dog Boomer and her husband.
YouTube star Charishma Cohen, aka Life With A Landcloud, who has 1.46 million subscribers, with her Samoyed dog Boomer
I am particularly charmed by it @MattAndOmar jumping for joy in their pants, waving their dog Yvie’s tiny limbs on TikTok with the words: ‘If we remember, we will always be a DINKWAD household.’
The Association for Guide Dogs for the Blind has found that half of DINKWADs choose a holiday based on being able to take charge, while 44 per cent prefer time with their dog to going out with friends (guilty of the charge ).
More than three-quarters consider caring for a dog to be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences – more so than becoming an aunt or uncle, or getting a promotion – while 42 percent said they felt more excitement teaching their dog to sit than meeting them of their friend’s dogs. new baby (no comment).
I actually love children and am also a committed PANK (‘professional aunt, no children’). However, I never felt the desire to start a family of my own – with a dog bell instead of a biological version.
After almost ten years together, people still ask if Terence and I might ‘get one out of the closet’. At 53! The thought itself! As dog owners, rather than sprouts, we can socialize, travel, and embark on life’s adventures in no time.
Pim likes to spend an evening dozing off when we want to attend an exhibition, opera or ballet (we don’t drive her everywhere). a la fellow dog obsessive Demi Moore), as he greeted us with hysterical happiness at the end. Toddlers are generally less self-sufficient; teenagers furious unrelentingly.
Moreover, the research into guide dogs is right: owning a dog provides wonderful satisfaction. I used to think I knew everything there was to know about love, when in fact I only knew about sex.
Romantic affection is a poor, contingent thing compared to the epic force that is canine constancy. Dog love is the best love—loyal, uncomplicated, profound—and the vehicle through which we realize how tasteless and inadequate human emotion is.
This is not to say that my four-legged crush is any less intoxicating. I am in love with the silky softness of Pimlico’s coat, the sound of her trotting steps, the scent of her skin.
Her little head is never without a lipstick kiss. I can interpret her barking, not least the one that means: ‘Wrap me up against the morning light, I demand to be wrapped in a velvet blanket.’
Without children to enjoy, I am my dog’s slave. And it’s not just me. Terence and I compete for Pim’s affection. (He wins.) She sleeps between us, the ultimate method of contraception. My boyfriend is now her boyfriend, which means she protests wildly if we attempt even the slightest touch.
We once had a dog therapy session during a weekend away in Goodwood.
Our expert has determined that Pim is ‘resource guarding’ – the resource in question is Terence. Our dog is a slave to love, addicted to the triple oxytocin (the bonding chemical) we have created in our companionship.
Yet Pimlico must be objectively lovely, because even strangers succumb to her wiles. Hardy South London boys coo over her satiny coat and go crazy over her prancing long limbs and doe-like, naturally flowered eyes.
Hannah Betts and her beloved dog Pimlico at The Kennels in Goodwood
She appeared on the covers of three national newspapers and co-starred with a Hollywood star in a fashion shoot for a glossy magazine. When it looked like she might have puppies, London’s most fashionable people competed to get one.
Ultimately, Pimlico has brought me enormous joy in life in a way that – as a woman and as a feminist – producing offspring would have jeopardized this, as society still expects mothers to bear the brunt of raising children. children.
In 2009, then-University of York social scientist Dr Nattavudh Powdthavee analyzed whether having children brings people joy. Writing in The Psychologist, the journal of the British Psychological Society, Dr Powdthavee claimed that the idea that parenthood promotes happiness is a ‘focusing illusion’.
Instead, Dr. Powdthavee argued, there is “almost no connection” between having children and a state of contentment. Parents may cherish milestones like a first word or step, but wrongly imagine that these bursts of euphoria outweigh the relentless grind of caring for a child.
His conclusion: ‘It is these small but negative experiences that are likely to have a greater impact on our daily levels of happiness and life satisfaction.’
Admittedly, Terence and I don’t seem to be as loaded as the DINKWADs would be. Still, we’d be even more broke if we had tongs to cherish and we’re proud to identify as DINKWADs – despite a lack of actual wads.