Main Character of the Week: The woman who regrets buying a Porsche

The internet is a stage, and someone unwillingly stumbles onto it weekly. This makes them the “main character” online. Sometimes their story is heartwarming, like the Pirates Of the Caribbean song that became an anthem for North Sea TikTok; usually it’s a gaffe. In any case, that main character energy flows through the news cycle and turbo-charges debate for several business days.

Here’s the Trending team’s main character of the week.

It’s the woman who regrets buying a Porsche.

Many viewers of her viral TikTok lacked sympathy for the conundrum because obviously, if you can afford to buy a German sports car, you’re well off. But upon closer review, this advice is changing paradigms.

“If you want to have any money left, don’t buy a Porsche,” @chloeauk warned. She rattled off the recurring costs, as we reported: “maintenance ($441 for an oil change), insurance ($1,544 per year), fuel ($386 per month), and taxes ($662 per year).”

It’s an $87,000 car. Per CarEdge, it’ll cost you about $21,000 to maintain a Porsche Cayenne over the first five years.

And I’m serious about the cultural shift. If you have a $40,000 budget to buy a car, first off, congrats. But should you buy a fully loaded Honda Civic that will last 400,000 miles or an entry-level BMW?

Another woman on TikTok says that it’s a red flag when you guys try to max out for the brand. I think she’s right.

Not that I am above brands. When it comes to accessories, fashion, and cars, how we show up matters. And as I prepare to turn 40 in 2025, I’ve been eyeing a Cadillac.

My grandfather worked in the General Motors auto factories throughout his professional life. I grew up in an America-first household when it came to cars. We have gone through more Chevrolets than I can count since my parents got married in 1982; they’re built here with union labor, after all. And yet my dad could never bring himself to splurge for the very GM Cadillacs that my grandfather touted. The top-of-the-line GM offering.

So I have an emotional connection to a brand and planned to go that route for my midlife crisis car. Except now it seems preposterous.

As another TikTok said recently, regular maintenance on modern luxury cars like the Cadillac XTS is pricey and tracked by the car’s computer so it’ll tell on you when it comes to resale value.

Meanwhile, the other day I went to AutoZone and replaced my headlights for $37. I drive a 2019 Hyundai Kona that is paid for; from just before the Asian auto manufacturers began changing the engines in ways that have even made Toyota seem unreliable.

I get to use cheap gasoline. I don’t care that my dog recently barfed in the backseat. Shoot, all most people care about these days is having Apple CarPlay so that you can connect your Spotify.

All of these new bells and whistles in the age of the Tesla seem half-baked and not ready to rely on. Giant screens. Cameras everywhere. Software updates that sometimes lock you in a hot car. The air conditioning vent now runs via touchscreen (and not a button) so that Lincoln can offer you digital driver profiles that customize settings. (And so that Ford, which owns Lincoln, can save money on having to manufacture physical buttons.)

Ten years ago, we helped popularize “the Internet of things” as a phrase. I.e. objects that now have computers. Like refrigerators that are connected to the internet! Around this time we also covered drone technology. One worker at a drone startup in Austin, Texas told me that by 2020 we would see drones delivering goods all over the skies. But the problem with this technology isn’t that we can’t perfect and systematize it nationwide. It’s that no one wants it.

Maybe by my 50th I’ll be ready for that Cadillac.

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