For centuries, the term p**********n has been associated with women selling their bodies to survive or fulfill the desires of others. However, a significant shift has been simmering beneath the surface of this profession to bring rise to a phenomenon that challenges traditions, forcing society to confront deeply ingrained taboos. And this shift is the outright peddling of male flesh in the open for women to enjoy for s*x at a fee.
The stereotype that p**********n is a female-only occupation is gradually being dismantled. While female s*x workers have historically been more visible and documented even in the the Bible, male s*x workers have always existed in the shadows, their experiences and stories often overlooked or ignored.
Today, however, male commercial s*x work is emerging from the margins and into the mainstream, fuelled by a combination of changing societal attitudes, economic factors, and evolving s****l dynamics.
*Simon was born in a small village in the Central part of Kenya. His family was of a humble background and his childhood was marked with financial struggles. “My father worked as construction worker and my mother as a house help. And despite their hard work, the family barely managed to meet our basic needs,” he explains.
Looking for opportunities
He was a bright student, but because of these struggles, he could not pursue his dream of being a teacher. Simon left home to seek opportunities in Nairobi, but because of his limited education, it became hard to land any decent job. He then turned to p**********n after struggling to survive in the city. He viewed it as a temporary solution to his problems, but as time went by, it became his primary source of income.
Simon established a network of clients, primarily wealthy women who sought discreet relationships. His good looks, charm and his ability to maintain a low profile has allowed him to command higher fees than many of his friends.
“I earn about Sh150,000 per month, which allows me to live a comfortable life and send money back to my family,” he says.
Simon has been able to keep his profession a secret from his family and friends, making them believe that he works in a well-established hotel as a waiter and they are proud of him. However, he feels that they would be devastated if they found out the truth. While he is enjoying this financial freedom that this job provides, he is also aware of the limitations and dangers brought by this lifestyle. He often wonders how long he can continue before it starts affecting his mental health or when he is no longer in demand.
Men who engage in s*x work come from diverse backgrounds and have various motivations for entering the industry. Some do it out of financial necessity, others are drawn by the allure of easy money, and some see it as an extension of their s****l identity and freedom. Whatever the reason, the presence of men in the s*x trade is becoming more visible and accepted, even as it remains steeped in controversy and moral judgment.
Mind effects
According to Dr Ken Munyua, a psychologist, there are different reasons men turn to commercial s*x work. He says one of them is for pleasure, which after realizing they can actually be paid for it, they make it a career. Others follow this path because of desperation due to lack of better or decent opportunities where they could earn a living and when they start earning, they look at it as a business, just like any profession.
He also explains that nobody wants to be associated with the profession, even the women, due to stigma around it since p****e still look at the profession as ‘sinful’ and this affects their self-esteem.
“Psychologically, it will affect their ability to have s*x with p****e who cannot pay them after s*x. There is always a drive towards s****l experience and so, when you are doing it for money, that becomes their motivator,” explains Munyua.
He further notes that when such men have s*x with older women, it might be difficult for them to come down and start having s*x with p****e of their age or younger and this is because their bodies are used to being aroused by older women, which can be described as a f****h.
All these will affect them in a way that there is no association of emotions and s*x since it’s just pure business. “The journey towards having s****l intercourse is linked to having an emotional attachment, but for them, they are attached to money and later on in life, they’ll realise that they are attached to money more than the s*x,” he notes.
According to Munyua, the main reason these men hide their profession from relatives and friends is because these p****e will perceive them negatively. He says society has accepted that older men can sleep with younger girls, but it has not come to term with the fact that older women can also sleep with younger women and this causes the male commercial s*x workers to be seen as lazy individuals who want to make quick money.
In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the demand for male s*x workers, particularly in urban centres and tourist hotspots. Women, as well as men, are increasingly seeking out the services of male e*****s, challenging the traditional power dynamics of s*x work. The rise of the “boy toy” has become a cultural phenomenon, with male e*****s catering to a growing market of affluent women and LGBTQ+ clients.
Requires skills
According to Dr Kathleen Anangwe, a sociologist at the University of Nairobi, male p**********n just like its female counterpart is considered a choice, and for some, its work from which an income is derived — in the case of Kenya — tax free.
“It is no longer seen as a deviant act, but rather a way to meet a need and provide s****l services to women who may not require permanence in relationships. Additionally, male p*********s are relevant in a society that is consumerist and operating according to market forces of supply and demand,” she emphasises. Anangwe explains that like any other job, this trade has working hours, requires management and investment skills for sustainability.
He says the skills are important when they are no longer in demand as they can use them to start and manage a business, which will help them sustain their lifestyle. Also, they need skills to know how to utilise the networks they’ve made while still active in the rough trade. Anangwe says this shift has majorly been driven by the empowerment of women and the de-stigmatisation of female sexuality.
She says as more women gain financial independence and social freedom, they are more likely to seek out s****l experiences on their own terms. This has created a demand for male s*x workers who can provide companionship, intimacy, and pleasure without the constraints of a traditional relationship. Today, however, this practise is becoming more open and accepted, with male e*****s advertising their services online and through social media.
Experts say despite the industry’s growth, male p**********n remains a taboo subject, surrounded by misconceptions and moral judgments since the society has been slow to recognise that men, like women, can be vulnerable and engage in the s*x trade.