Media personality Willis Raburu painfully narrates the day he almost ended his life while touching on the battle of child loss.
Speaking during a candid interview with a local YouTuber, the energetic journalist recalling his child loss experience, Raburu disclosed how invested he was in the pregnancy and the visions and dreams he had for his daughter.
Willis further disclosed that when the doctors told them their daughter had no heartbeat it broke his heart adding it was one of the darkest moments and no pain can equate.
“The lowest moment in my life was the day I found out my baby girl wouldn’t make it, when my daughter died that was my lowest moment I don’t think there is any pain that can equate to that it was a very dark time for me I even have a tattoo, it was December 31st yani watu walikuwa wanangoja New Year p****e are getting ready but for me, we went at the hospital everything was okay we went to the doctor there were pains and everything came and we were told ooh there is no heartbeat but( I had heard her heartbeat just a few moments) lets induced labour and see we went through the whole process then came my daughter and am holding her on my hands calling her my name and nothing no cry nothing,” he narrated.
The entertainer further stated that he held the body of his daughter and called her name with the hopes that she would still be alive, adding that being a staunch Christian at some point he ended his spiritual relationship with God.
“I don’t think there was a moment I ever felt helpless, alone I was in a room with doctors and everything but I just felt I was alone it was dark it was painful and I remember after we went back you know when you go to the hospital si umepack kale kabag yakusema munaenda kutoka na mtoto, so when I went back to get the bag I just sat on one of the benches and looked up and asked God fine you win I don’t believe you exist all my life have been brought up in christianity, and every day I prayed for this baby in the belly every day I was speaking positive things for that not working I was like God doesn’t exist I was just taking pleasure in my pain, for a while, we took a break me and God,” Willis said.
The former TV host further narrated how loss plagued him and at some point, he almost took his own life because of the grief.
“For me what I learned is that you have underlying, issues that you need to talk about, and you need to seek therapy which I did a lot, one of those darkest moments I (wanted to end my life)and again all the time I thought about my daughter if she on the other side the only way I can see her is to join her, I did go through moments where my therapists had to call the office, that was the time p****e started checking up on me,” Willis said.
Adana was pronounced dead at birth on December 31, 2019.
Willis’ divorce
The energetic journalist went on to say that the loss of his daughter brought upon many issues including his divorce.
“Shortly after the divorce came I brought up a lot of issues, having someone who understands you when you are dealing with grieve is not easy for me when I deal with grieving I like to go out and I also like to be inside because I don’t like to express a lot,” he said.
In 2020, just months after losing their first child together, Willis and Marya separated.