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Sophie Anderton, 46, admits fertility struggles left her feeling ashamed and 'like damaged goods' as she urges society to change 'intolerable' attitudes to childless women

Sophie Anderton has detailed her fertility struggles, her decision to end her quest to become a mother and the ‘intolerable’ attitude to childless women.

The model, 46, has been candid about the challenges she has faced, including suffering miscarriages and failed rounds of IVF, in her quest to have a child with her husband Count Kazimierz Balinksi-Jundzill, 54. 

Speaking to Hello! Magazine, Sophie admitted she faced ‘the hardest decision she’s ever made’ in accepting she would not have children of her own with her husband of two years, who has four children from a previous relationship. 

Amid her struggles, the star voiced her heartache over attitudes toward childless women, saying: ‘I find it intolerable that some people think it’s appropriate to ask why I’ve not had children…

‘So many women I know haven’t met someone to have children with or they’ve missed the window of fertility… But that doesn’t make them less of a woman…

Changes: Sophie Anderton has detailed her fertility struggles, her decision to end her quest to become a mother and the ‘intolerable’ attitude to childless women

Her love: The model, 46, has been candid about the challenges she has faced, including suffering miscarriages and failed rounds of IVF , in her quest to have a child with her husband Count Kazimierz Balinksi-Jundzill, 54

Her love: The model, 46, has been candid about the challenges she has faced, including suffering miscarriages and failed rounds of IVF , in her quest to have a child with her husband Count Kazimierz Balinksi-Jundzill, 54

‘We need to redefine views on women who don’t have children and accept that it’s fine to have a different life to what society dictates.’

Sophie detailed the pain and liberation of coming to terms with the fact that she will not have children: ‘It’s been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, to accept that we won’t have a child of our own…

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‘I’ve experienced a rollercoaster of emotions over it, but Kaz has been amazing and beyond supportive as he reconciled himself to it, too….

‘Once we accepted the fact that having a baby wouldn’t happen, it was liberating, as if the final piece of a puzzle had slotted into place.’

Sophie detailed the ‘wave of loss and grief’ that washed over

She said: ‘A wave of loss and grief engulfed me. But the worst emotion I experienced was shame. I felt as if I was damaged goods – which was illogical because I had nothing to feel ashamed for. I was angry, too, but put on a brave face’. 

Former party girl Sophie now prioritises her health and wellness following her highly publicised battle with drink and drugs.

She once admitted she was ‘lucky to survive’ her own addiction problems, on which she apparently ‘blew £10 million over 13 years’, and confided to friends that she was self-harming and had considered ‘ending it all’.

Mine: Sophie detailed the pain and liberation of coming to terms with the fact that she will not have children: 'It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make, to accept that we won't have a child of our own'

Mine: Sophie detailed the pain and liberation of coming to terms with the fact that she will not have children: ‘It’s been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, to accept that we won’t have a child of our own’

Yet speaking to The Daily Mail in 2015, Sophie dismissed all this as ‘light years from where I am now.’ She added: ‘I was very unhappy [in my 20s]. I had no control over who I was or how I looked.

‘I was a model but at some point modelling became only one part of what was required of us, and suddenly to be successful we had to be celebrities. It’s not something that came naturally. I was terrible at being famous.’

Sophie revealed that her party lifestyle has been replaced by an addiction to some of the toughest workouts going.

They include a highly aggressive kick-boxing style called Muay Thai, plyometrics – gymnastic body weight exercises – extreme endurance running, and ballet barre.

On her rest days, she does hour-and-a-half hot yoga classes. She did try her hand at more gentle pursuits such as meditation and mindfulness, but they didn’t suit her.

She told MailOnline at the time: ‘I went on a week-long silent meditation retreat. I ended up punching holes in the walls. Some people eat through their emotions, I talk. Not being able to express myself, oh my God. I just lost it.’

Way back: She once admitted she was 'lucky to survive' her own addiction problems, on which she apparently 'blew £10 million over 13 years', and confided to friends that she was self-harming and had considered ‘ending it all’

Way back: She once admitted she was ‘lucky to survive’ her own addiction problems, on which she apparently ‘blew £10 million over 13 years’, and confided to friends that she was self-harming and had considered ‘ending it all’ 

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