It has been narrated that, for the last 10 years, Fridah Harriet has been touring the world. In 2018 she settled in Netherlands where she works and lives with her 6 Yr old daughter. Fridah and her younger sister living in Nairobi have been brought by their mother. Their father Zakayo Kinyua Mbaabu disappeared when Fridah was only three years the sister was younger. Fridah is in her late 30s and sis mid-30s.
Like all children, the two girls have lived with the desire to know and even find their father. But given that it was a subject that the mother never raised with them, they never did much to trace him. The mother however never discouraged them from making any efforts they could to find their father. It was not until a few months ago that Harriet decided it was time to look for the dad. She tells me she did it after realizing that failure to know about the fate of her dad was holding her back in various aspects and interrupting her life.
Fridah posted a series of updates on her social media platform asking Kenyans to help her trace her dad. After posting one of the updates here on this wall, many Kenyans got interested in her story and it was shared widely. Yesterday, Fridah contacted me with information that she had finally traced the father’s whereabouts. I was happy. What followed was a long telephone conversation as she gave me a blow-by-blow account of how it happened.
Her mother met her father way back in the early 80s. They got into a relationship that gave forth the two girls. But the father had one weakness, he was a certified alcoholic real drunkard. The father was himself a child of a single mother. But the mother (Fridah’s grandmother) had been married to another man and begot other children.
So the man was brought up by a stepfather and he was the eldest among his step-siblings. But he was more like a reject in that family and the stepdad and siblings never accepted him. That may have been the background that set him up for alcoholism. And so even after marrying Fridah’s mom and getting the daughters, the couple could not stay together for long. Yes, he was not a violent man or abusive, but he was consumed by alcoholism.
It was only a matter of time, the two broke up and the mom went with the two girls whom she raised to grown women. Fridah left the country back and forth in 2013 before settling in Holland in 2018. As Harriet embarked on the daddy search, she got the feeling that her mom knew more than she had ever revealed. It was like she even knew the father’s whereabouts but didn’t discuss it with the girls.
Nevertheless, she was always ready to discuss him with the girls but never told them what happened. There was no picture of the man in their home and the girls had no facial image of their dad. On Friday, a lady contacted Harriet after we posted the story and it was picked by other media. The lady informed fridah that she knew the whereabouts of the father. She told her that the father was doing tailoring at Gikomba Market. But there was additional info.
She said at the time she saw the man, he was in a very bad state, having been ravaged by alcohol. Of course, they discussed a lot more, and I can’t cover all. The lady gave a vivid description of the man, including the fact that he has a slight summer. Harriet confirmed the details with the mother who ticked them as positive.
The mom added that the last time she saw the man was around 2016/17. Friday was happy that the dad had been seen that recently and meeting him was only a matter of time. She began putting things together as to why the mom had made every effort to protect the girls because introducing them to an alcoholic wreck would have probably ruined their lives for good.
They were better off living with the knowledge they had as kids of a single mom. In any case, the father himself had never made efforts to trace them. Harriet was overjoyed but still disturbed, that the father was an alcoholic and that was the reason he left them. So where was he? More was yet to come. At 4 am yesterday, another man contacted Fridah with clearer details about the dad. This was the man who had known him and lived with him at Mlango Kubwa in Nairobi.
He confirmed all the details but asked Harriet for a short while to trace the man. A few hours later, he was back with the big news. The biggest news for Fridah. True, the father was still deep in alcoholism. This man was living with him in Nairobi and knew him in detail. Every description matched.
Happened that around 2019, Fridah’s father went back to his step-siblings looking for his inheritance and was completely rejected. His stepfather is long dead as well as his mother. The man had then gone to the family of his biological father and there he was chased away.
Dejected, hurt, frustrated, and rejected, he went back to Nairobi and now delved into alcoholism like never before. He went into depression and finally into a mental breakdown. Both contacts confirmed that the father entered into street life, and became an adult parking boy. He started collecting plastics and other litter in the streets and sleeping in garbage and drainage. He broke down completely.
Corona hit in 2020 and the man could not withstand the wrath. He died in the streets somewhere in Eastleigh. The body was identified by friends. It was collected by police as an unclaimed body and buried where no one knows. Friday is still in mixed reaction. Sad and hurt. Feeling the full weight of the loss. Disappointed. Yet, as she told me, she has been left with this relief and closure.
She disclosed the news to the mom who too could not believe it and is still in denial. She also disclosed this to the sister in Nairobi who is also shocked. I talked to Fridah for a long. She is settled. Having known the father’s state, she now understands why the mom protected the girls. They could not have handled this over the years at that age. Their lives would never be where it is.
Their father knew all along that the girls were grown and doing well. That was the one reason why he decided to keep away. He could not face them and ruin their lives. He lived as that bold man and died that way. But Fridah can’t understand how his ego led him to such death. “Yani Wahome mimi niko Europe spending big money na huyo mzee alikuwa kwa mapipa kama chokora, that his ego was enough to lead him to death”.
Fridah says she would have even taken him to rehab and dealt with that. It was never to happen. She now has to live with the realization that her father whom she never met, died in the streets. She is in pain and happiness put together. She said she wanted the father not for herself but to be a grandpa to her daughter. That too won’t happen. There is an additional bit. When in Nairobi, the father had a relationship with another woman and they begot a son. Friday now turns to the search for the boy said to be a young man. The daddy search ends there. End of Search.
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