Michael Palin in Nigeria (CH5)
Who would win a fight between a crocodile and a Python? Michael Palin didn’t stick around to find out, at a festival in Nigeria.
As he stood in a colorful crowd watching men in an ecstatic frenzy running knives over their bare skin, the Monty Python veteran turned around and saw a young guy with a crocodile over his shoulder.
The reptile’s mouth was tied shut. “It’s taped up, it won’t bite me,” Michael shouted over the noise. Then the man untied the knot. “Oh, it’s going to bite me. . .’
The animal was even released into the square, where it chased festival goers.
Clearly, the West African magic that keeps knife blades from drawing blood could not withstand crocodile teeth.
Who would win a fight between a crocodile and a Python? Michael Palin (pictured) didn’t stick around to find out, at a festival in Nigeria
This attraction to the bizarre and lurid is always what sets a Palin travelogue apart from the usual escapades of a comedian abroad.
He has always been attracted to the surreal, and Michael Palin is no different in Nigeria.
On an empty beach in Lagos, he looked at a sign stating the local statutes: no fighting, no stealing and no weapons. . . there is nothing strange about that.
A speed limit was imposed on horses of 10 km per hour, or about 6 mph. Drones were discouraged, as was smoking Indian hemp. And there was, strictly speaking, ‘no homosexuality (gay or lesbian)’.
“I mean,” he marveled with a mischievous grin, “how can you enjoy yourself here?” Maybe that’s why the place was deserted.
It must be the only place in Lagos where it is not crowded with people. The city is already the largest city in Africa and is expected to be the most populous city in the world by 2099, with an estimated population of 88 million.
There are currently more than 16 million, of whom 60 percent are 25 years or younger – and 70 percent of them live in slums.
Sir Michael visited one of the illegal settlements, a floating suburb called Makoko, where most residents have no electricity.
His guide was the son of a local chief with two wives and 34 other children.
He was surrounded by crowds of people jostling, pointing and shouting, “Oyinbo!” (which means: ‘White man!’ – or, literally translated: ‘Peeled skin!’).
Michael Palin pictured in Nigeria for his Channel 5 show – Michael Palin In Nigeria
The Palin incantation is legendary, but even his patience was beginning to wear thin. . . and that was before he flew to the war-torn north of the country.
“Lagos is not for the faint of heart,” he declared. ‘It’s as if 3000 volts are going through you. The people are very hospitable, but you notice that things are not going as well as they should.’
This is Palin’s main understatement. What he meant was: ‘Good God! It’s pure chaos.’
He did meet the daughter of Nigerian superstar Fela Kuti, who is still worshiped almost like a god almost thirty years after his death from AIDS in 1997.
Michael admired a video of Fela on stage in his prime, dancing half-naked. “In the 1970s,” he sighed, “I only took off my shirt for medical examinations.”
