Dougie Poynter has told how he has been to rehab twice for ‘separate addictions’ during the ‘worst times of his life’.
The McFly bassist, 35, candidly opened up about his two stints in rehab while speaking on his new podcast On The Mend with Matt Willis.
He bravely confessed that both of the addictions felt ‘life-changing’ at the time and told how his time in rehab were both the ‘worst’ and the ‘best’ times in his life.
Dougie has previously told how he lost two years of his memory because of his Valium addiction, and has now spoken about rehab helped him amid his struggles.
He said: ‘I’ve done it twice for two separate addictions. Both times I felt like they were huge life-changing things, they were like the worst times in my life and the best, for some reason.
‘I still reference my last stint in rehab now whenever I’m like not feeling quite right or something.’
Struggles: Dougie Poynter has told how he has been to rehab twice for ‘separate addictions’ during the ‘worst times of his life’
Dougie admitted he has been ‘fearful’ to speak about it publicly due to ‘hurting’ his loved ones and told how hard it was to tell them about his two stints.
Speaking about telling others about his time in rehab, Dougie said: ‘Oh it’s horrible, that was like one of the worst parts about it.
‘I think that also plays into why I’m fearful of talking about it, is more what others or friends and family will think, like how it will hurt them knowing.’
Busted star Matt – who has candidly spoken about his cocaine and alcohol addiction himself – replied: ‘Because other people feel like they failed you in a way?’
To which Dougie went on: ‘Yeah I guess, yeah – yeah. Or that like they didn’t know, what did they do wrong.
‘I hated the attention, I don’t really like attention like anyway, or the focus being on me, and then when you are the problem child of that scenario and everybody’s like supportive, like amazingly supportive but that – I wanted everyone to calm down a bit like yeah it’s ok, it’s ok.
‘But also amazing at the same time, then you come out the other end of it and you’re like wow these people really have my f**king back.’
Reflecting on his time in rehab, Dougie told how he found it hard to talk about his addiction in a room of other people and said one therapist got him to focus on more ‘creative’ exercises.
Candid: The McFly bassist, 35, (pictured on stage in July 2021) opened up about his two stints in rehab while speaking on his new podcast
He described being creative during rehab as a ‘little glimmer of hope’ for him and also told how music helped him reconnect with who he is.
Speaking about how isolated he felt before music helped him, he said: ‘When I couldn’t connect with any kind of sense of self, I didn’t know who the f**k I was anymore which was terrifying, the disconnect from myself, friends, family, I just felt like I was this lone traveller of the world that didn’t know anybody, like a f**king alien. Which was f**king terrifying.’
He told how music then helped him to reconnect with who he was before alcohol and drugs and said he was able to reconnect with who he was as a child through listening to classical music and movie soundtrack that reminded him of his youth.
‘That sense of connecting to the little kid that I was, was so overwhelming, like yeah I f**king cried and then couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t stop listening to those bits of music,’ he said.
Speaking about his recovery, Dougie went on to say that the most ‘important’ things for him are being honest with himself and knowing what his triggers are.
He bravely admitted he doesn’t want to live in ‘fear’ for the rest of his life as he told how ‘consuming’ his drug addiction was.
He admitted: ‘I think the most important thing for me is being honest with myself, and knowing myself.
‘And I think it’s that combination so, knowing what my – really honestly knowing what my triggers are and being aware of those. I see those triggers as like little f**ked up abstract demons that live inside my head and in my gut that can manifest from any kind of situation which will start eating at me.
‘And that can be for me the beginning of a spiral that eventually I will end up going back to drugs because there’s no other way to get rid of them because it’s so consuming, I don’t want to live in fear for the rest of my life.’
Dougie has previously spoken about his battle with Valium addiction and told how he lost two years of his memory amid his struggles.
The McFly bassist – who attempted suicide amid a battle with drugs and alcohol in 2011 – said he took ‘lethal doses’ of Valium following McFly’s hiatus in 2016.
Struggles: He bravely confessed that both of the addictions felt ‘life-changing’ at the time and told how his time in rehab were both the ‘worst’ and the ‘best’ times in his life
Speaking about his struggles in 2020, he told how his battle left him with huge gaps in his memory from 2016 to 2018, when he checked into rehab.
He told The Sun: ‘It’s a slope that you don’t really realise you’re slipping down until it’s too late. Then climbing out of that hole is a very, very long process.’
When asked if he is unable to remember the period, he added: ‘Honestly, yeah. I mean, you get flashbacks, but it’s a huge blur. It’s strange.
‘That’s something which is really hard to come to terms with, literally losing two years. Two years just went as like a weird dream. Coming out the other end was like, ‘What? Where’s my band?’
Dougie went to rehab after an intervention from his bandmates, and said he thinks he agreed to go without ‘kicking up a fuss’, although he can’t remember for sure.
On The Mend with Matt Willis is available now wherever you get your podcasts.
