There are two types of great reality TV personality types: those who do not care and those who care too much. Love is Blind has plenty of both, from people who do not care to get absolutely messy in front of cameras to those who will obliterate the status quos of themselves and their friends and families just to attempt to get married via Netflix. And in the latest round of After the Altar episodes, those two personality types clash in spectacular fashion.
Okay — to be honest, Season 4’s After the Altar catch-up episodes are a bit of a snooze. For a season that was filled with off-the-charts drama, particularly the Marshall/Jackie/Josh/Monica (?) stuff, everyone came to After the Altar on their best behavior. It’s almost like all of these adults realized that life is way too short and reality TV is way too permanent to fixate on spats that went down a year ago. The confrontations that viewers were most excited to see — Marshall and Jackie, Paul and Micah, even Chelsea and Micah — all play out as if all parties involved are… mature, rational adults. That’s good for the cast members, sure, but is it good TV? I don’t think so!
Fortunately, though, Love Is Blind Season 4 gave us the gift that is Irina, an admitted bully who said “yes” to a proposal seemingly out of a mix of spite towards another woman and hunger for fame. Irina spent her time in the pods flat-out laughing at girls who were just dumped and then spent the following vacay time recoiling from the touch of her fiancé and trying to steal her best friend’s man. Iconic. Maybe Irina could sense that her season’s After the Altar cast shindig was missing a little spice, and maybe that’s why she put on her producer hat and went over to apologize to Amber.
For those who don’t remember, Amber was the other girl that Paul was dating before he chose to get engaged to Micah. Amber’s the girl who, after getting dumped by Paul, came back into the pods in tears and had to be consoled by Chelsea. How did Micah and Irina react to this? By launching a spying mission to eavesdrop on her conversation. Irina added the side quest of “act like Amber’s tears of rejection are actually her tight five at The Comedy Cellar.”
Fast-forward a year and here we have Irina, having watched her season of Love Is Blind and dealt with the entire internet calling her and Micah mean girls, pulling Amber for a chat. Amber, low-key revealing the kind of reality TV persona she possesses, is like, “Well, I just got my tater tots” and brings them along for the destined-to-make-the-final-edit one-on-one.
Irina absolutely knows that one of her definitive Love Is Blind moments was her acting like a junior sleuth on an ’80s sitcom, except she was doing so while a real person was having real feelings. She has to talk to Amber. It’s what the fans want! Irina, however, fails to realize that Amber does not give a shit. Amber did not get engaged and enjoy even a slightly extended run on Love Is Blind Season 4. She did not settle for someone else. She went there for love, didn’t find it, and went home. In fact, she seems more interested in her tater tots than this convo with Irina (which, can’t blame her).
Irina is, without a doubt, expecting either a serious chat about feelings and respect and sisterhood or something, or she’s ready for a screaming match. She will get neither. Irina’s shining moment in After the Altar begins:
“I just want you to know that, like, you were nothing but kind to me and, like, you always had this lifty spirit. To watch you cry and kinda go through this and be so heartbroken and we absolutely dismissed your emotions and feelings, it just wasn’t okay. I wanted to let you know from the bottom of my heart, in person, like, I’m very sorry.”
Sure. Irina then takes the “apology” too far. “And I don’t say this as an excuse,” says Irina, preparing her excuse, “but I didn’t realize you were crying, like, at all.” Can we check the tape on that?
And that’s when Amber clearly smiles and starts stifling a laugh. Irina continues: “Where I was standing, I couldn’t see you.” Then Amber, still smiling, looks to the sky as if she is asking Jesus Christ for the resolve to not bust a gut in response to this apology. Irina, seemingly filling the void in the convo left by Amber trying not to laugh with more excuses, continues by saying, “Obviously something was happening emotionally, and I, like, choose not — ”
And Amber, unable to handle this staged apology, has to stop Irina from talking. “It was painfully — ,” Amber begins. “Both of you knew exactly who I came out of that date with. Come on.”
Irina’s instinct is, weirdly, to say “yeah” and then try a new avenue towards a reality TV-worthy fight. “I guess what I’m saying is, I didn’t realize — ” If Amber’s not going to fight about whether or not Irina knew she was crying, then she’s gonna fight about something else!
Except Amber is really not. With an affable incredulity, Amber says, “I’m not gonna sit here and argue about it either. You guys both knew I was sitting in the corner talking to Chelsea. That’s why [Micah] told you to come over and listen. But that’s — I don’t care.” Amber literally grabs Irina’s hand, like she’s absolving Irina of all responsibility to make a reality TV “moment” happen. Amber says plainly, “I don’t care. I’m not losing sleep again. I don’t care. I accept your apology and we’re gonna move on from this. So, be better. That’s all.” Then with a laugh, Amber closes the conversation by saying, “Thank you for coming over,” while laughing, almost as if she can’t believe any of this happened.
Mind you, all Irina can do this entire time is say “yeah” and drink from the straw in her golden goblet. Amber doesn’t give Irina what she wants at all, but what we get is actually hilarious. The best way to call out a blatant lie (“I didn’t realize you were crying, like, at all”) is to just laugh, call a lie a lie, keep laughing, accept the “apology,” and move on. Amber could have gotten angry, thrown a tater tot at Irina, and given us a moment. Instead, we got a moment that cut through the artifice of reality TV, exposed the ridiculousness of these staged chats, and ultimately left Irina — a true reality TV villain in its purest form — way more confused than anything.
I do love that, as she gets up from the table and starts to walk away, Irina says, “Thanks Amber.” Thanks for accepting her apology, or thanks for the screentime? To Irina, is there even a difference? The only thing we can be sure of: now Amber can focus on them damn tater tots.
