Bride asks friend to make wedding cake, is then ‘offended’ when questioned if she’s paying for ingredients

Bride asks friend to make wedding cake, is then ‘offended’ when questioned if she’s paying for ingredients
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A social media debate is underway about whether brides should be asking their wedding guests to fulfill costly favors — such as baking a cake for the big day — in place of gifts after a bride’s specific inquiry was shared online for discussion.

A Reddit user uploaded a Facebook post screenshot — which an anonymous bride-to-be reportedly wrote in a wedding planning group — to the “Wedding Shaming” subreddit, a 567,000-member forum where Reddit users shame wedding ideas, themes and social interactions.

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The anonymous bride appears to have asked members of the Facebook group if she’s wrong for being upset that a friend she tasked with making her wedding cake is asking if she’ll receive compensation for the ingredients.

“I’ve asked my friend to make the wedding cake for me for 75+ people and she’s come back asking if I’m contributing to the cost of the cake, as it’s going to cost her $300+ to make it,” the bride’s post began, according to the uploaded screenshot.

The post continued, “Am I wrong to be offended that she’s not gifting me the cake as a wedding present?”

The screenshotted post was uploaded to the “Wedding Shaming” subreddit on Wednesday, Aug. 23, with a “greedy” label.


The bride wrote that she’s offended her friend isn’t making the cake for free as a wedding gift.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

A Facebook post in which a bride says she's offended her friend isn't making her wedding cake for free.
A debate with dozens of comments kicked off when a Reddit user posted this screenshot.
Reddit

What do wedding experts think?

Megan Nova, a New York City-based wedding planner and writer of the Awesome Bridal wedding planning blog, told Fox News Digital that the anonymous bride shouldn’t be mad at her friend for asking about ingredient cost contributions.

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“Wedding tradition and etiquette dictates that the bride’s family caters for the wedding cake costs at the reception,” she said.

Nova reasoned that the bride’s friend may not be able to afford to make such a large cake for free.


bride and groom cake toppers in a smashed wedding cake
Over 510 Reddit users upvoted the post and many users commented that they think the anonymous bride is being unreasonable.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

“The bride and her friend can come to a peaceful resolution by openly communicating about the issue, actively listening to each other and reviewing options to find solutions that benefit each one of them,” said Nova.

Personal finance and etiquette experts previously told FOX Business that $50 is an acceptable starting point for wedding gifts, and guests can choose to spend more depending on their finances and their relationship with the bride or groom.

Reddit users’ consensus? 

Over 510 Reddit users upvoted the post and dozens of users commented that they think the anonymous bride is being unreasonable for wanting her friend to cover all the cake-making costs.

Several commenters pointed out that the friend only asked the bride to pay for cake ingredients and not the labor it will take to bake and decorate the wedding cake.


bride and groom cut their wedding cake
“If I hire a friend to do something for me (which I don’t often, but I have), I pay full price and I’m happy to do so,” one commenter wrote.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

“If someone was a real friend, they would want to pay you for your time. As well as skills,” one Reddit user wrote. “I don’t like how people feel entitled to free services because their friend has a skill set that could be useful.”

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“Sure, discounts are nice, but your friends have bills to pay just like everyone else,” another Reddit user wrote. 

“If I hire a friend to do something for me (which I don’t often, but I have), I pay full price and I’m happy to do so.”


cake toppers on a cake showing a bride dragging a groom by his ankle
The post was titled “The entitlement is strong with this one” when uploaded to the “Wedding Shaming” subreddit.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

One Reddit user questioned if the anonymous bride would be willing to spend $300 on a wedding gift for her friend if their roles were reversed.

The Reddit user guessed the bride “probably” wouldn’t be generous enough to purchase a $300 wedding gift or provide a $300 wedding service. 

“Why should she expect her friend to spend $300 on ingredients? We’re not even talking about the value of her time and skill here,” the Reddit user wrote.


a bride and groom cut their wedding cake.
“I don’t like how people feel entitled to free services because their friend has a skill set that could be useful,” another commenter wrote.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Another Reddit user wrote that she was “gifted a cake by a friend” who “never made a cake before,” but offered to do it anyway.

“I offered to pay her for the time and supplies. She declined and made it the wedding gift from her and her husband,” the Reddit user went on. 

“At no point did I assume anything would be done as a gift or for free. It should never be assumed.”

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