A mother and father tied the knot at their premature baby’s side as he fought for his life in hospital intensive care after being born at just 24 weeks.
Alana Wilkinson33, and her husband Angus, 34, planned an intimate ceremony at their son Rafferty’s bedside at Brisbane’s Mater Hospital as they were unsure if their firstborn would survive.
It was November 14, 2021. Rafferty had been born less than three weeks earlier and weighed just 704 grams.
Due to Covid-19, the hospital was under strict visitor numbers guidelines – and Mrs Wilkinson was determined to get married at their newborn’s side.
“I said to Angus, ‘Let’s just get married in the hospital, I know it’s Covid and no one can come, but I want to get married to our baby because we don’t know if he’ll be with us, we don’t don’t know what’s coming,’” Alana told FEMAIL.
Alana Wilkinson, 33, and her husband Angus, 34, planned a very intimate ceremony at their son Rafferty’s bedside as they were unsure their firstborn would survive.
Alana went into labor and gave birth to Rafferty at 24 weeks. It weighed only 704 grams. Fortunately, he survived and is living happily with his parents in northern NSW
Fortunately, after more than three months in the Neonatal Critical Care Unit, Rafferty pulled through and was able to return to Alana and Angus’ home in the Northern Rivers region of NSW.
Desperate measures for a hospital wedding
On November 14, in the midst of the Covid pandemic, a rare ceremony took place at the Mater Hospital’s Neonatal Critical Care Unit.
The hospital staff were willing to do whatever they could to get Angus and Alana married alongside then-three-week-old Rafferty.
Just days earlier, Alana had started planning her unorthodox wedding ceremony after finding a celebrant to participate.
One of Rafferty’s nurses, Amanda, was a photographer who scheduled herself to work so she could care for the little baby and take pictures when the parents got married.
“Amanda gave him a little outfit so he was the best boy, and Mater noted in his medical records that he was the best boy at Mom and Dad’s wedding on November 14,” Alana said.
“We couldn’t have a big family or crowd, but that suited us perfectly outside of the chaos of the NCCU.”
Rafferty had been in intensive care since his birth on October 25 and had been out of rotation, leaving both medical staff and his parents unsure if he would make it.
‘Raff did really well for the first ten days, everything was going pretty well, and I thought, ‘Our kid is going to be a stunner here,’” Alana recalled.
Despite the restrictions on visitors, hospital staff were willing to do whatever they could to get Angus and Alana married alongside then three-week-old Rafferty.
‘Then it started wobbling, he started having problems and his lungs needed more help. Then I thought it was very important to surround him with as much love as possible.’
Weeks earlier, the parents had moved to the Northern Rivers from Melbourne to start their new lives ahead of their son’s birth, staying with friends while they looked for a home.
They thought they had enough time to get settled before Rafferty arrived, until one day Alana, then only six months pregnant, started feeling a strange pain.
‘I had them at night and during the day they stopped working. “I didn’t know they were contractions, I’d never given birth before,” she said.
After almost 24 hours the pain continued to worsen so Angus insisted they go to hospital and they drove 50 minutes through the pouring rain to Lismore.
By the time they arrived, Alana’s contractions were only three minutes apart, but she didn’t realize labor was starting until a doctor sat her down.
“She said, ‘You will be transferred to Brisbane and will stay in hospital with your baby, regardless of when they are born, until the due date,’” Alana recalled.
“It was really overwhelming and quite shocking.”
‘He had some oxygen problems, a lot of bradycardia, heart rate drops and a few blood transfusions. At that age it’s quite a matter of doing it,” Alana said
Staff managed to delay the delivery for a few days while the mother was transferred to the Mater Hospital.
Rafferty was determined to come into the world and was born naturally weighing just 704 grams.
‘A few hours later I saw him. He was small. It was truly amazing to see such a small person. It was a little bigger than a tub of butter,” Alana said.
He was taken directly to the NCCU, where he was placed on a ventilator and closely monitored.
Alana recovered well from the birth and was quickly discharged from the hospital, but she and Angus returned every day to be by Rafferty’s side.
‘He had some oxygen problems, a lot of bradycardia, heart rate drops and a few blood transfusions. At that age it’s quite a matter of doing it,” Alana said.
The focus of his care was to get him breathing on his own and to ensure he was growing and developing at a good pace.
But there were times when the parents weren’t sure if their baby would make it.
The focus of Rafferty’s care was to get him breathing on his own and ensure he was developing, but there were times when it was uncertain he would survive.
“A few times we came in the morning and the nurse said, ‘Raff had a really rough night,’” Alana said.
‘We looked at him and he was pale and white and looked like a little doll. It was really confronting to see a baby looking like he might not make it.”
The struggling mother said she coped by refusing to bottle up her emotions.
“One of the biggest challenges was leaving him overnight because of the mommy-baby magic. There’s a primal ache in the body that says, ‘Hey, your baby’s not here,’” she said.
‘I made sure that if I had to cry, I just cried. “I didn’t put anything off, I was really aware that I was going through a really challenging time and the last thing I wanted to do was make things harder on myself by not feeling it.”
A unique way she processed her pain and connected with Rafferty was through song, using her musical talents.
‘A friend of mine dropped off a small ukulele at the hospital. “I pulled Raff out of his damp crib and laid him on my chest, pressing the ukulele against his little butt and singing songs,” she said.
She wrote songs about the oxygen traveling through his body and even about his hemoglobin levels. Alana said she still plays the Hemoglobin song at her shows.
A unique way Alana processed her pain and connected with Rafferty was through her music. She would write songs while holding him in the NCCU
Alana said the music had a profound effect on Rafferty’s health.
“It was great to walk in the morning after he had a really rough night with a lot of bradycardia and problems with his oxygen,” she said,
“Then when I would put him on my chest and sing songs with him, you could just see how it would stabilize him. The nurses said, “Woah, look!” and we all watched it together.”
At 92 days, two weeks before his original due date, Rafferty was stable enough to go home with his parents to the Brisbane house they had rented so they could be close to the Mater Hospital.
“I cried all the time; ugly crying happy face. It was amazing,” the mother said of finally getting her baby home.
However, he had to stay on an oxygen tank for 12 months after leaving the NCCU because his lungs weren’t quite ready to work on their own.
“Navigating those first few months was really challenging because you can’t live without oxygen for more than five or 10 minutes,” Alana said.
“There were a few times where he pulled out his oxygen tube, it got really scary.”
The parents were relieved when Rafferty was able to go without an oxygen tank in January 2023 and start his life without any health problems.
At 92 days, two weeks before his original due date, Rafferty was stable enough to go home with his parents. Alana describes him as a “blast” who fills the energy
“I did another ugly happy cry. It felt like the end of an era. Once he got off the tanks, there was a real freedom that opened up in him,” Alana said.
She describes Rafferty as a “blast” who is full of energy.
“That’s the thing about premmie babies, they’re go-getters. Their start in life, their little human blueprint, is instilled with a zest for life and a fight for survival,” she said.
Alana has released the first song she wrote for Rafferty in the NCCU, Dream Big, which is available on Spotify.
“It’s a little love song for him to reflect on all the beautiful things we get to do now,” she said.
“It was to really connect with him in those moments in the window seat and let him know there was a whole world out there waiting for him.”
